Beam me up Scotty!

So it’s almost Christmas.

I still kind of bummed that I didn’t get to go up north (OR and WA) like I was suppose to. Well I guess I wasn’t suppose to if I didn’t but anyways. I mean I know I should be more concerned with the well being of my mom and her back which sucks that she is in always so much pain, but it also sucks that I don’t get to see my extended family too.

The worst part is that I haven’t seen Chris in over a year even though I was suppose to see him three times since last Christmas. He’s one of; if not the coolest guys I’ve ever met. I would say “I wish he had a younger brother,” but I’ve met his 21 yr old brother and although at Lisa and Chris’s Wedding he called me and I quote “drop-dead gorgeous” hell would have to be very nearly freezing for that to ever occur; he’s ADHD and “slightly” retarded (whatever that means). Anyways Chris is awesome and I miss him.

I’ve been trying to make the best of my Christmas winter break (got be PC now ;) ). I’ve actually got a lot done. There was a lot of stuff that I meant to do but didn’t, like I never did find someone to help me put of lights. But it’s okay.

Tomorrow I’m going to go and spend the day with my day and Bryce. That will hopefully not be to painful; even if every other sentence out of my father’s mouth has to do with the fact that me not going to a UC (university of California) means I will ultimately fail at life.

And Christmas? I will be spending it with my mother. We are going down to Sherman Oaks to visit some close family friends for Dinner. That will be nice.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a most jolly New Year!

That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.

So I was watching Gone with the Wind last night. Man I really love that movie, but anyways I was watching Gone with the Wind and thinking about how much I like that movie. Then I realized that it’s kind of a sad movie. Not like it has a sad ending but the whole thing is sad! Then I got to thinking ‘why on earth would I like a movie like this!?

And I really had to think about it, because I really do like the movie but at the same time I know that it’s really depressing. But the answer I came up with is that the characters are flawed, they’re real and I find it much more compelling to watch a movie about someone real then someone perfect.

For example Scarlett O'Hara is such an interesting and complex character. She’s so vain and proud yet I can’t help but appreciate her good qualities like her strength, determinedness, and her intensity. And even though the good in her doesn’t really out weight the bad I still enjoy watching the crazy Scarlett, Ashley/Rhett love triangle.

Ashley Wilkes kind of bugs me. Okay he picked Milly over Scarlett that’s fine. But he’s got the gull to lecture her about whom she chooses to marry? I mean come on. Well, Scarlett did kind of use Frank and tricked him out of marring the woman he loved. But still that’s beside the point, and the point is that if you break someone’s heart you don’t get to have any type of opinion pertaining to their love life. Thank-you very much.

But Scarlett in so funny because after she basically gets her husband killed she’s all crying saying like oh crap I’m going to go to hell! And I think Rhett put it nicely when he said, “You're like the thief who isn't the least bit sorry he stole, but is terribly, terribly sorry he's going to jail.”

Scarlett and Rhett have the oddest relationship but in a really awesome kinda of way. Observe:

Scarlett: [After agreeing to marry Rhett] If I said I was madly in love with you, you'd know I was lying. You always said we had a lot in common...
Rhett: You're right, my dear. I'm not in love with you any more than you are with me. Heaven help the man who ever really loves you.

And lol Ashley = dumbsauce

Scarlett: But you love me!
Ashley: How could I help loving you - you who has all the passion for life that I lack? But that kind of love isn't enough to make a successful marriage for two people who are as different as we are.
Scarlett: Why don't you say it you coward? You're afraid to marry me. You'd rather live with that silly old fool who can't open her mouth except to say 'yes, no' and raise a couple of brats just like her!
Ashley: You mustn't say things about Melanie.
Scarlett: Who are you to tell me I mustn't? You lead me on, you made me believe you wanted to marry me!
Ashley: Now Scarlett, be fair. I never at any time-
Scarlett: You did! It's true! You did! I'll hate you till I die! I can't think of anything bad enough to call you!
[Scarlett slaps him. He exits and in her fury she throws a vase. Rhett rises from behind the sofa.]
Rhett: Has the war started?
Scarlett: Sir, you...you should have made your presence known.
Rhett: In the middle of that beautiful love scene? That wouldn't be very tactful, would it? But don't worry, your secret is safe with me.
Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett: And you, miss, are no lady...Don't think that I hold that against you. Ladies have never held any charm for me.

Rhett is the best in all of his imperfection.

Anyways in my humble opinion this movie is great and if you don’t like it then frankly I don’t give a damn.

I'm a fermata, hold me.

Goodness this week was sooo long! (And it's not even over yet.)

Halloween was on Wednesday. Jenni and I made awesome Italian plumbers! In the end we decided that we are too old to beg for candy from strangers so we passed out candy.

For my Senior Project I kind of want to change it from learn how to play guitar to piano, because I love messing around on the pianos at school. I've been borrowing books from People. I’m actually getting faster at reading piano music and it's so much fun. I love it. But, there are problems with this plan:

1. I wouldn't have a mentor.
2. I don't have access to a piano all the time.
3. I'm kinda shortbus.

Otherwise I would totally switch.

I'm picking out the costumes for Our Town. I think it's going to be lots of fun, except for the fact that the play opens like two weeks I haven’t started at all and I have to basically be in two places at once (marching practice and drama).

Laura and I have taken on the enormous task of gigantomachy proportions of organizing the music library. It should only take until a short time after the jam and crackers at my funeral.

Anyways, I should get going I have a parade competition/Band review tomorrow, meaning I’ll be up early. Nighty night!

http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/question.html Here are some good questions think about.

Em.

Ps- Parade marching = death by boredom.

Of mice and men and other unexplained phenomena like female dogma

Houston we have power!

Showering by candle light, Fun? You might think. Wrong(...actually it kinda was fun).

So there was been no power at my house from like 4 til just a little while ago. I'm not complaining it was neat. And beneficial to my AP Art History grade, because I was like "oh crap the sun is about to go down. Better do my Greek packet before it gets too dark to see!" so I got it done by like 7:30 with the help of a glass bread pan full of candles ha ha. It was actually pretty enjoyable. It was kinda - I wanna say romantic, but I don’t know if that’s the right word... intimate? ("Impractical! Yes that the word," says the realist in me) but yeah it was satisfying in a romantic-impractical-middle-ages-kind-of-way.

Earlier today I was like "yeah I'm bored with my room's current furniture arrangement." So I moved every thing around, then the lights when out. And I was like "well, this should be fun..." *coughs* (<--that's for Jamie). All in all I had a good weekend.

Just saving some starfish

Let me tell you a story about a boy who is wiser then most will ever be:

There once was a man. This man was like most men. He went to work every day, he paid his taxes on time, and he even visited the gym three times a week. But he wasn't happy.

So today, unlike most days he didn't go to work, instead he went to the beach. It was cold but bright and breezy day the way it is after a storm. The man shivered slightly as he trampled through the sand wondering what on earth he was doing, or what he was looking for. Just then the man saw in the sand some distance away a strange colored speck no make that

Ten...

Hundred...

Two hundred...

A thousand specks, maybe more...

When the man got closer he saw not specks, but starfish. Hundreds and hundreds of them beached from the storm lying in the cold sun waiting to die. The man was sad; he didn't really know what to do. He just stood there thinking about all the poor starfish, dying or already dead. "What a stupid idea to miss work on a Tuesday," he thought to himself, "I feel worse now then when I woke up."

Just as the man had made up his mind to turn from the hopeless seen and go home he saw a boy among the starfish. The boy must not have been older then eight or nine. The man approached the boy. As the man drew closer he saw that the boy was picking up the starfish one by one and throwing back in to the ocean.

The man looked in disbelief at the boy then to the beach litter with the pathetic dying creatures. "What are you doing?" He asked the boy, "There has to be thousands of starfish. There is no way you could save them all; you won't even be able to save half. What's the point or this? Does it really matter?"

The boy picked up another starfish said "it matters to this one," and threw it back into the ocean.

I have to believe in that little boy. I have to keep telling myself to keeping on caring and do my best. I really believe I will because I know that even in some minuscule, microscopic way it matters. Working hard doing my best, even if I'm not seeing results or ever do, it still matters.

Why does it matter? I mean it's not like I'm saving lives or anything.

This is why: because I need a reason to get up in the morning. I need to know that I'm doing something other then taking up oxygen.I need to know that I have a purpose.

I really don't understand it when people that are apathetic. If you don't care then is there really a point, it just kind of seems like they're just a waste of space.

Every morning when I wakeup I need to now that I have the power to make this day better then the last one, that my presents in the universe means something to someone and that I have the power to effect change and that that change matters.

Band Stuff

Band Camp:

6-10th of August

8-4pm

Band BBQ:

Sat. 4th August

In the band room

@ 4pm. Be there!

Bring Mom and Dad.

Band Fees:

Due on the 6th starting at 7am

$300 (pay on time and it's $275)

Dear Clrainets

Sectional!

When: 26th of June 2-4

Where: QHHS Band room

Bring: Clarinet, Pencil, and something to put your music in.

Hope to see you there!

Em.

Angsty Langtsy

Dear Langston Hughes,

Shut up. You were not a slave so stop talking about it as if you were there; you weren’t. Your poetry is ordinary at best. I don’t mean to offend you (though I don’t care if I do) but does all the world but you and black people bore you? All you can seem to write about is how much life sucks and the pain you are in. Get over it. I hate the fact that you and authors similar to you set the precedent for the feel of black people of the time. Even now people read your work and think that all black people feel the way you do. And they don’t all feel the same way. You make it sound as if there is no hope and that all white people still hate all black people. Your poetry and prose blame all white people for your problems. And I don’t know if you know this but that’s being racist! Because guess what? I’m white but I’m only third generation American so hassle the D.A.R. not me. Thanks.

This bugs me too; half the things you say are completely paradoxical. For example in “I, too, Sing America” you basically say that you want to be a real part of America but then in some of your prose that I read you were all like black people don’t like white people getting up all in their space. You don’t want equality you just want to continue pissing about how being black sucks.

Even minus my bias on the contents of you poetry, you’re just not a very good poet or writer. Your poetry doesn’t make me feel anything. You say that Walt Whitman was an inspiration of yours but your poetry is not similar at all to Whitman’s free verse or rhyme. Your poetry is just a bunch of words and creative use of commas that drags on and on then doesn’t resolve well.

In conclusion, Angsty Langtsy, I don’t like you. : )

All my love and anguish,
Em