Friday, October 16, 2009

Good advise from a hypocrite

Gwenda (World Without End)
Bella (New Moon only)
Dean (Gilmore Girls)
Abigail Williams (The Crucible)
Pip (Great Expectations)
Homer Wells (The Cider House Rules)
Jay (The Great Gatsby)

It’s time to get over it and move on; he/she doesn’t want you. Get a life. Live for yourself. Be yourself. You don’t need Wolfric, Edward, Rory, John, Estella, Candy, Daisy (repectively) you are fine and awesome on your own. You all just look pathetic pining over someone who obviously has moved on for God's sake you should do the same! You are wasting your time, my time and paper/film boring us with your sad attempts to win the heart of someone who couldn't care less about your sorry ass so do us all a favor and get the fuck over it. Kthanx love Emily.

Sunday, September 27, 2009


Things that make me irrationally happy:
Dumb people using $10 words incorrectly
Fat kids eating fast food
People in electric wheelchairs on the street
Electric wheelchairs with flags
Asians that can’t drive
Black people eating chicken
Really skinny bros in XL t-shirts
Really fat white moms in Wal-mart with 5+ kids
Hispanics selling oranges/flowers/blankets on the side of the road
Dean’s ever-changing facial hair
Dean “working” on his car
Sarah reading Stephen King books
Dorky look teens that sit in the anime section of Barnes & Noble and read
People who walk around at school playing guitar poorly
Mormons on bikes
Sending and receiving snail mail

Things that make me irrationally angry:
People turning left out of a parking lot without a signal
People not utilizing turn lanes and instead slow way down in front of you and just making a wide turn
People who randomly slow down on the freeway
Dog-eared pages in library books
When I don’t get a “Special” sticker on my order at Taco Bell
The fact that Denny’s has Coke and not Pepsi
When people tend to cry a lot
When people mix up your/you’re, there/their/they’re, and to/too/two, are/our
When people use any of the following: u, ur urself, b4, 2nite, 2day, l8r, luv ya, c u, wat, watever, y, i, im, so0o, gurl
When “pretty” girls take “ugly” pictures (that aren’t really ugly, just silly) then put them online and say “OMG look at these ugly pictures of me! OMG I’m like so0o ugly.”
People that fish for compliments ^^
When people don’t remember I don’t like Ketchup
The fact that the avc library is only open until 6:30p during the week and only open for 4 hours on Saturday.

Things that I know will never change/know to always be true:
Jamie will never give up trying to read Les Mis.
Jamie and I will always make pies for thanksgiving.
There will always be someone Laura and I dislike so much we can spend hours talking about it.
Lauren, Jenni and Hank will never stop playing video games.
There will always be tortillas, Tapatío, and Shasta cola at Charlie’s/Brandis house.
I will always love West Side Story more then Rent and Jamie will always disagree with me.
Hank will always be the most badass white guy I know.
I will never memorize any ID number I ever have i.e. school ID, DL, license plate #

99 things to do before I die:

1. Act in a play
2. Adopt a pet from the pound
3. Be a girl scout troop leader
4. Be a stage manger
5. Be able to say “I love you” in at least 15 different languages
6. Bungee jump
7. Buy a house
8. Camp somewhere and sleep under the stars
9. Change someone’s life (in a good way)
10. Chase pigeons in the Vatican City.
11. Compete in a speech contest
12. Convince a group of tourists that I’m a tour guide in a foreign country
13. Convince someone that I’m British
14. Cross a country using only public transportation
15. Dance salsa and tango in lots of foreign countries
16. Do yoga by myself in a park really early in the morning
17. Drive across America from coast to coast
18. Drive cross country on as much of route 66 as I can
19. Drive the Autobahn
20. Eat escargot
21. Fall in love get married have lots of children
22. Find a four leaf clover
23. Get a big group together and making matching tie-dye shirts and go to the zoo like you did when you were in elementary school
24. Get a pair shoe, and dress and umbrella like the Morton’s salt girl and go out in the rain like that.
25. Get in trouble with the law in another country
26. Give blood
27. Give someone homeless my lunch
28. Go a bedding store in my PJs
29. Go on a African safari
30. Go on a oversees trip by myself
31. Go skinny-dipping at midnight at some beach
32. Go to school in France
33. Go to Times Square on New Year’s
34. Go white water rafting
35. Graduate college lol
36. Have a “back in my day” conversation with my grandchildren
37. Have a beer in Ireland
38. Have a pen pal form another country
39. Have a tree house in my backyard
40. Have Sex on a kitchen table
41. Have Sex outside somewhere
42. Hitchhike not alone hahah
43. Jog 3 miles
44. Jump off a bridge with a friend
45. Keep a diary constantly for a whole year
46. Kiss the Barmy Stone
47. Learn now to count to 100 in Russian
48. Learn to juggle with three balls
49. Live in a big city other then LA
50. Make a Buckingham Palace guard laugh
51. Make a kite and fly it
52. Make a wish in a shooting star then take proactive measures to make sure it comes true
53. Make out in a library
54. Make out in an elevator
55. Make out with someone in the rain
56. Make quilts for all of my close friends kids (when they start having kids that it)
57. Pierce someone’s ears
58. Play a elaborate practical joke
59. Play in mud that’s at least knee deep
60. Punch someone full in the face
61. Read Les Mis in French
62. Rent a apartment with Lauren, Jamie and Jasmine not all the same time
63. Ride a camel into the desert.
64. Ride in a gondola
65. Ride on a motorcycle
66. Run with the bulls
67. Runaway
68. See a Broadway play
69. See a lunar eclipse
70. See every James Bond film ever made
71. See every movie ever made with Gene Kelly
72. See Phantom of the Opera in stage
73. See the Western Wall in Israel
74. See/meet the Dalai Lama
75. Sell a piece of my artwork
76. Send a message in a bottle.
77. Shoot a rifle
78. Sit on a jury
79. Skydive
80. Spend a day at Disney World
81. Spend the night somewhere Haunted
82. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home
83. Swim 1400yrs in 12 minutes or less
84. Swim with dolphins
85. Take a drive and drive all night long stop when the sun comes up and go eat breakfast
86. Teach someone illiterate to read
87. Travel to: France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Greece, Austria, Hungry, Czech Rep, Romania, Ukraine, Germany, Belgium, Switzerland, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Thailand, China, Russia, India, Egypt, Colombia, Bolivia, Chile, The Bahamas, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Poland.
88. Walk down Abby road
89. Walk on the great wall of China
90. Waltz in the middle of the street in the middle of the night
91. Win something at an auction
92. Work at a bar
93. Work in a soup kitchen
94. Work in an orphanage oversees
95. Write a fan letter
96. Write a letter to Juliet in Verona Italy
97. Write a snail mail letter every week for a year
98. Yell at a train as it goes by
99. Yell over the Brooklyn bridge (see Newsies)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I had an epiphany the other day:

To me boys are like Marzipan.

Every time I see some I think, aw how cute I want some! Then when I finally break down and get a piece I remember how much I hate Marzipan. It may look cute on the outside but really it’s just gross. I mean really they come in so many cute shapes and colors but no they all taste the same: icky.

Just say no!